Tuesday, March 21, 2006

I asked my son to fill up Benjamin's back tire so I don't have to haul him to a gas station. He says in his authoratative 16 year old voice, "Are you going to ride it?". Hmm, in the first place it is a him and yes I am going to ride him, even if it is just to the end of the driveway and back (we have a long dirt driveway which matches the long dirt roads of this rural community we call home). One must start somewhere even if it is only 1/2 mile. And who knows, if my butt cheeks don't explode maybe I shall turn left and go to the highway adding another 1/2 mile onto the "trek". But first he needs to put air into that tire and I don't want to fuddle with the compressor and that darn hose that is lost in the mud somewhere. Turns out he is the one that let the air out of the tire for whatever reason.

I have a drs. appt on Thursday which I am dreading. I've gained 9lbs since last year and all that has come in the last 2.5 months since I started the "alcoholic's" diet. It is actually one that eventually eliminates sugar and simple carbs from one's diet. It was developed for alcoholics of which my father is one, my mom is a breadaholic and I'm the one kid who has inhereted all those lovely genes and habits (of course the other kids have their issues like eating disorders and type A personality w/depression etc.). Rather than turn to drugs or alcohol my drug of choice is food and freakin' Diet Pepsi. BAH! So along with that I'm sure I'm in line for the high blood pressure, high cholesterol and diabetes just like good old Mom. Dad, who is pickled, is on no drugs whatsover but booze. Why couldn't I get those genes????

Anyway, I had panic attacks and my Dr. at the time put me on a generic form of prozac. The package says up to 6 weeks to be totally effective. In perfect form of my slower than normal body, it took me three months. But since then my whole life has changed and I haven't been this happy and productive since I was a little girl! I have gotten a job I love (mail carrier), have worked through much of the issues I had with growing up in an alcoholic family, have delved into my spirituality, am painting more than ever and have become the Mom I wanted to be! So is it good? Yes! Meanwhile the diet I am on is to eventually get me off this head drug. Most people get off of step one within a month or month and a half (eating breakfast until it is a habit) but par the usual for me, I am on my second month and it still ain't habit so will keep plugging on. So it will take me longer. So what.

Meanwhile I am searching for lesser calorie yet high protein foods for breakfast. Did you know fat free cottage cheese has more protein that the others? Now if only I could find a huge container of it like I can of the regular. I need to eat 42 grams of protein at each meal. That is A LOT. But since starting it I have no cravings, no blood sugar fluctuation. Life is good. Now I just need to get rid of this weight.

Shoot, air chuck is in hubby's truck...will have to wait until tonight.


1 comment:

Melinda said...

Hey, I was on Prozac and it made me GAIN 40 LBS!!! So I am off it now and hoping to lose weight. I gained about 40-50 lbs in the last year and now am eating healthier..

Yes, sugar is my fix...but I am at least trying NOT to eat much of it....I have lousy genes too and also have sleep apnea, high blood pressure, pulmonary hypertension, high cholesterol, fibromyalgia, and osteoarthritis.....am I dead yet?

No, I am actually alive and working at living longer. Biking I think is my key because I loved it as a child and didn't do too bad a couple years back.... Now I have to start all over at 300 lbs and boy is it Hard!!!

Maybe we can support each other!